Into the Tundra

my adventures in northern indiana

Feeling the Ugly

[I just now found this post that I wrote right after Dennis and I got back from visiting Grandpa for the last time. I was struggling with seeing him so frail and beat down and this is what came out of it. I’m not sure why I didn’t post it then, and I actually forgot about it, but I really do like this post and it was good for me to read again.]

Children with cancer.                   Spouses who die too young.              Father’s hurting daughters.                 Homes burning down.               Families starving.                 Wars.                Girls being sold into slavery.         Planes flying into buildings.

The fallen part of this world scares me at times. I look around and see all the pain and hurt and I don’t know what to do about it. How do I sit by and watch my Grandpa struggle to keep his bones from breaking? How do I brush off a child fighting for her life? How do I accept the fact that there are children being stolen from their homes and then sold to horrid men? This world is broken and hurting and my tiny, human heart doesn’t know how to handle it sometimes.

People ask all the time why God allows such horrible things to happen. How could a God who is the definition of love and a God who controls everything allow a mother to watch her child die? Or allow whole cities to be wiped out by disaster? There are all the right, philosophical answers…like: those things are a result of a fallen mankind. And while I know that, sometimes philosophical answers aren’t good enough.

Sometimes we need to look the ugly straight in the face and yell at it. Cry about it. Feel it deep down inside. And then we need to cry out to God. Because, really, He is the only one who can answer that why question. And He is the only one who can comfort us. And He is the only good thing we have in this old, sinful world. And He has the power to use the bad things in this life for His good. C.S. Lewis said this:

“But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

And while that doesn’t make it any easier to go through the hard times that come our way, or watch as evil wrecks havoc; it is at least somewhat comforting to know that God can twist what satan does and use it for His glory.

Thankfully, the story isn’t over here in this world. And thankfully, we already know the ending to this story of life. Good conquers bad. Beauty conquers ugly. God conquers satan. And God is right now preparing a place for us where we will no longer remember the awful things this sinful world gave us.


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This entry was posted on November 19, 2013 by in Faith and tagged , , .