Into the Tundra

my adventures in northern indiana

Please don’t hate me!

You know, there’s this little thing that all women struggle with (and I say “all” with confidence). This little thing is actually not little at all, but really big and really important. It is something that is very much on my heart right now and I tremble at writing about it because it is so unpopular to talk about…but it NEEDS to be talked about. (Please don’t hate me!)

The little thing that I am talking about is submission. (There, I said the the word…that horrible, shunned word!)

God has been working on me in this area over the last couple months, especially in the last week. And what I have learned has shocked me, brought me to tears and made me tremble. Submission is our calling, ladies! And if we do not heed the calling, we are disobeying God. Plain and simple!

And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband; that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. -Ephesians 5:33b AMP

What does that verse say to you? To me it says that I was created to dote on my husband. Remember how it was when you were dating? I don’t know about you, but I did everything I could to please Dennis. I’m not sure why that stopped. I’m not sure why I suddenly started saying “you can get it yourself!” But I kinda think it would be fun to start dating him again!

And not only were we created for and called to this purpose, we promised our husbands before God that we would respect them always…just like our husbands promised to love us unconditionally. Boy, we sure do make sure they keep their promise, don’t we!? So, how exactly do we get to break ours!?

A popular excuse for not respecting our husbands is the fact that he’s not leading like he should. But most of the time, from what I understand, if we ladies take the first step and start giving respect when it is undeserved, the man quickly steps up. It’s funny how that works.

You know, men are important to God. They are His ambassadors, his warriors. It makes sense that Satan would attack them through us. I am the one person that my husband is supposed to feel completely safe with, but when I am unsubmissive, when I try to take control, I am the one attacking him. I’m slowly chiseling at his manhood…and a warrior can’t fight without his manhood! Just think what our men could do if we did respect them like we are called to!

An easy definition of submission for me is “giving up control (both to God and our husbands).” God is continually telling us in His word that we are to trust Him; and He created this order in which our husbands are over us, so when we take control away from our husbands, we are essentially not trusting God. And vise versa…when we trust God completely, we will give control to our husbands and we will respect them unconditionally.

Now, that doesn’t at all mean that we can’t voice how we feel about something. But if Dennis decides to move to Alaska after I say that I don’t really want to, I need to trust him…and willingly! <that’s the hard part!

Seriously, ladies, if you want to be loved and fawned over and given gifts…respect your husband. Give up control. Be the submissive wife God called you to be. It’s amazing what happens!

Now, I for sure do not have this all figured out. And I’ll probably mess up in about five minutes. But I do feel very strongly that we need to start talking about this and praying about it! Wouldn’t it be sad if we would get to heaven and God would tell us that we were the main instrument Satan used to defeat our husband and consequently, the Church!?

My thoughts are all over the place and I feel very unqualified to talk about all of this, so if you want to learn even more about what God has called us to, go read Dorcas Stutzman’s book:

This book is seriously eye opening and life changing and amazing! I’ve read it twice in three days and still feel like there is so much for me to learn!


One comment on “Please don’t hate me!

  1. Lucy
    March 6, 2014

    Shelle, thx for speaking truth. This is an area God has been bringing to my heart for a number of years already. Not that I have attained, but a marriage changes when you tell God you are willing to TRY and live that biblical concept of submission daily. He is Faithful in convicting us when we mess up. He is our STRENGTH in weakness. He longs for more godly marriages to reflect His relationship with His bride. Blessings to ya… You encourage me, even across the miles, with your desire to be the woman God is calling you to be!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on March 6, 2014 by in Uncategorized.
%d bloggers like this: